Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
