the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
this boner is exhausting
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
