sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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