Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
