Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
