I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
