Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
