he was CRYING into my vagina
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
