yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
