I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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