dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
