love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
