very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
