even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My liver is preforming stress tests.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
