I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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