I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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