She said her name was "party"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
