sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
