apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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