Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
