Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
