Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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