marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Randomize
