so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
All the doctor said was why
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
