I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I wish there were birth control emojis
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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