at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
