Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
