There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just pee around me
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
