My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
