Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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