Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
