WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
