well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
