i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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