i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
