garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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