Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
