i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize