he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
