I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
