And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
