her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
