Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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