Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
