Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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