On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
