jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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