It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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