i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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