I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
