What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
