I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
