Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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